Finding America

Me and Tarah

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Hello. Are you planning a summer visit to Europe? Maybe you’re thinking of spending Christmas in the Andes, or mounting the K2 with nothing but a pick axe. If so, it’s time to hit you with some hard truths. Traveling is bad for you. 

I mean, sure, from the outside, traveling probably looks like a lot of fun, right—blue skies, sandy beaches,> puffins! But that doesn’t paint the whole picture. So I’m going to. 

Below are 5 reasons why you should say “no” to travel.

1. It was Mark Twain who said that travel is fatal (echo) to prejudice. Indeed, numerous studies have found that traveling can *severely* broaden your mind—potentially leaving you with abnormally high levels of worldliness, compassion, and understanding. There is currently no known cure for these symptoms, but doctors agree that preventative care—such as never leaving your house, never leaving your home city, or never leaving your home country—can prove relatively effective.

2. Traveling prevents you from enjoying an otherwise enriching office life. By booking that week-long trip to London, you're missing out on a luxurious 5-day work week tucked away in the foothills of conference room 4. Why spend precious moments drudging away on Tower Bridge when you could immerse yourself in those life-affirming one-to-ones with Brad from accounts? Time to check your priorities.

3. Traveling can trigger a variety of negative feelings within the traveler, including, but not limited to, the following: number 1, reluctance to go home - some travelers often utter phrases such as, “back to reality” to indicate the enormous impending doom they are about to face; number 2, realization that your home country is not the best in the world - those coffee houses in Amsterdam have fooled many a weary traveler; and number 3, regret at having not done this sooner. None of us should live with regrets. This is why you must never travel.
4. Traveling is no longer necessary in the 21st century. Thanks to technology, the world is not the big place it used to be. If we need to know all about life in Australia, there's a completely accurate Wikipedia article for that. And why go all the way to Sydney and interact with its people when you can just meet pixelated versions of them on Google Earth? Time to open up that browser.  

5.  This is the biggest reason of all. In the time it has taken you to watch this video, 578 people have succumbed to the appalling effects... of travel addiction. Travel addiction is when your mind develops an insatiable thirst for other countries, leaving you with major withdrawal symptoms in between one vacation and another. Be warned: 3 out of 5 travel addicts say their addiction began with a single innocent backpacking trip across Europe. Within months, they were hooked on South-east Asia, Central America, and Africa.

Please. Know the warning signs before they happen. Say “No” To travel.

Laurence is touring America! Help fund his YouTube travel series by becoming a patron!

Laurence Brown is a British man documenting his life in the truly bizarre and beautiful world of America. Before the end of the decade, he plans to achieve his goal of visiting all 50 United States - highlighting each one in Lost in the Pond's Finding America web series. To help fund this exciting project, consider becoming a patron. Your contribution would be incredibly useful.

1 comment:

  1. It's sooo true! From a fellow travel addict! Although I'm the opposite of you...I'm definitely relocating TO England some day!


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