As someone who once relocated from the United Kingdom to the United States, I've certainly done my fair share of traveling. From the outside, traveling probably looks like a lot of fun—blue skies and sandy beaches, right? Well I'm afraid it's time to hit you with a hard truth: traveling is bad for you and you shouldn't do it. I know it's going to be difficult for some of you to read this, but read it you must. Here are 5 reasons why you shouldn't travel:
1. Numerous studies have found that traveling can severely broaden your mind—potentially rendering you with abnormally high levels of worldliness, tolerance, and compassion. There is currently no known cure for these symptoms, but doctors agree that preventative care—such as never leaving your house, never leaving your home city, or never leaving your home country—can prove relatively effective.
2. Traveling prevents you from enjoying an otherwise enriching office life. By booking that week-long trip to London, you're missing out on a luxurious 5-day work week tucked away in the foothills of conference room A79. Why spend precious moments navigating Tower Bridge when you could be immersed in life-affirming one-to-ones with Brad from accounts? Time to check your priorities.
3. Traveling can trigger a variety of negative feelings within the traveler, including the following: reluctance to go home; realization that your home country is not the best in the world; regret at having not done this sooner. None of us should live with regrets. This is why you must never travel.
4. Traveling is no longer necessary in the 21st century. Thanks to technology, the world is not the big place it used to be. If we need to know all about life in Australia, there's a completely accurate Wikipedia article for that. And why go all the way to Sydney and interact with its people when you can just meet pixelated versions of them on Google Earth? Time to open up that browser.
5. Traveling can have devastating consequences. In the time it has taken you to read this article, 578 people have succumbed to the appalling effects of travel addiction. Travel addiction is when your mind develops an insatiable thirst for other countries, leaving you with major withdrawal symptoms in between one vacation and another. Be warned: 3 out of 5 travel addicts say their addiction began with a single innocent backpacking trip across Europe. Within months, they were hooked on South-east Asia, Central America, and Africa.
Know the warning signs before they happen. Don't travel.